11.03.2013

Being Real

Update 2.25.15: With the blessings of a growing business, I have realized the need to separate work & family on social media.  Therefore, I now have 2 Instagram accounts.  Please follow along with my public account for my business, @hcbinteriors.  Thanks!



Is anyone still there?  :)

I had to take a step away from the blog for multiple reasons: illness, holidays, birthdays, life in general. And there is one other reason...I was becoming too engrossed in social media & the blogging world.  Both my 3 year old & my husband had made comments about my time on my phone & iPad, checking emails, blog stats, Instagram, Pinterest, etc.  So, I made a conscious effort to put down my devices (I still use them quite a bit, but not as obsessively as before).  I think in some ways, checking in with a digital world gave me a connection to the outside world.  We don't watch much news - most of my TV watching these days consists of Disney Jr & PBS Kids - & I spend the majority of my time with someone much too young for full-fledged conversations about my feelings, hopes, & dreams.  :)

Reading blogs & checking Instagram or Facebook reassured me that my peers still existed, & blogging/social media became resources for sharing all of the ideas I have or wanting to know more about topics that interest me.  On top of that, my business & learning about my business rely heavily on staying on top of trends (even though I'm not a designer who uses a lot of trends), & home/DIY blogs & Pinterest have become a major influence on today's design styles.  So, I began to frequently check Pinterest, Instagram, & I read dozens of blogs, trying to stay on top of my game.  It got to the point that I began to post my Instagram & Facebook pictures based on what I thought would bring in the most readers to my blog, or would generate interest in my business.  As I heard at the conference I went to, those are good business moves for those of us in the design/blog world.  But what may be good for business is not good for me.  I began to feel like a product instead of a person.  Yes, lots of my pics are of my kid, but just as many are photos of things I thought others would want to see in relation to my work or blog.  And that became just too exhausting. I was no longer being true to myself.  If I thought a picture might turn off a potential client (like something relating to my beliefs), I was hesitant to post it.  I worried that maybe I was posting too many pictures of my kid & not enough design.  

And then, I got sick.  I could feel it coming; I even told my husband that if I didn't slow down & take a break, I was going to get really sick.  But, I didn't slow down.  And I got so sick that I spent 4 days in bed.  Those of you with a toddler (or kids) know that 4 days in bed really isn't an option.  But I was so ill that I physically could not get myself out of my bed.  And I began to think, this is so not worth it.  This is not a smart thing for a business owner to say, but my dream is not to be an interior designer.  My dream is to be the best mommy & wife, friend & daughter, that I can be.  If I can fit in interior design around that, great.  If not, I will be glad I gave it a shot.  But, I was letting the things that really matter in life take a back seat to the things that don't matter so much at all.  And my effort to keep up with the other home bloggers drove me to the point of being ill enough to not even be able to take care of my family.  Talk about having my priorities out of whack.  

So, I am starting over.  I am still going to write this blog & run my business, but I will do it in a way that is true to myself, & if that means that the clients leave & the readers disappear, so be it.  If I want to post 50 pictures in a row of my kid on Instagram, I will.  And if I want to write about the turbulent walk I've had with God over the years, & yet how in the end, He is always there to guide me & love me, I will.  And if one day I wake up and say, "I'm done with design & I want to walk away", I will.  Because the areas of my life that are most important to me are too affected when I try to be someone I'm not in the other areas.  I want to be real & joyous & thankful, and have that spill out so that others can see it, not choose what I share with others based on what I think they want to see.  Oh, & I'm going to remove the "interiors" part from my Instagram name.  Interiors are my interest, not my passion (people are my passion), & I don't want to give interior design more clout than it deserves. 

If you've made it through this rambling post, thank you.  I'm not sure when my next post will be or what it will be about, but I always always appreciate you reading.

   Holly         

2 comments:

  1. LOVE this, Holly! I went through something similar several months ago. Needed to prioritize and switch stuff around. Love you, Blackwells!

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